Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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