actually, I'm a sock model
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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