just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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