Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
