i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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