This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
