I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
