how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
