I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
