It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
