idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
