I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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