Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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