What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
