Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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