the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
