Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
