why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
