seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
