Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
