i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
