tell your sister to shave her snatch
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
