She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
