Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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