I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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