There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Can I color on your dick again?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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