tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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