So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize
