O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
