I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize