Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
