so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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