I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
