once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
