we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she looked like the before picture.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
