What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
