Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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