I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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