She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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