He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
