So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
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I need you to use more vowels.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize