I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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