Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
