He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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