She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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