We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
