12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
