We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
