We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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