I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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