I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
